Satellite News

“We resolve problems more quickly than our European partners. For example, when assemblies for the installation of the tower were brought to the construction site, there was no assembly crane. The French needed two months to install one. It is not for the first time that we have encountered such delays, for which European partners are to blame.” — Vladimir Gnezdilov, director general of Mir Company, regarding the delays in the construction of the Soyuz-ST service tower in French Guiana.
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“The last 50 years of space have been fantastic while the next 50 years will be spectacular.” — Prof. U. R. Rao, former chairman of ISRO, delivering his lecture on “Challenges in Space” in the 97th Indian Science Congress.
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“When foreigners observe [Soyuz] launches, they are surprised that we carry out lift-offs at exactly the designated time. In recent years the Americans have only once carried out a shuttle launch at exactly the designated time. This was a surprising event. The whole world was talking about it. They postpone launches up to six times. It is due to the spacecraft’s features. Our system is more reliable.” — Anatoly Perminov, head of the Russian Federal Space Agency, according to Interfax.
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“Last Thursday I heard about the [LCROSS] probe the National Aeronautics and Space Administration sent to the moon in hopes of detecting a water source there. … It didn’t land nicely — the newscaster said it was the equivalent of an SUV hitting the moon at more than 5,000 miles per hour. … What if someone or something fired back? What if the moon has something comparable to the San Andreas fault? If the next probe hits such a fault, maybe half the moon will break off and all those pieces will be headed our way.” – Cindy Toopes (who apparently never asked herself why the moon is plastered with craters) in The Ottumwa Courier. This doesn’t seem to be a spoof like The Onion but a real newspaper in a real town in Iowa, USA.

“They have to visit their girlfriends on the bus now and not in official cars.” – Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin about a reduction of police cars’ fuel consumption after the installation of GLONASS tracking devices.
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